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morbirdity
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Name: Janeen
Gender: Female
Interests: God-stuff, Reading, writing, singing, drawing, painting, creating, Dagorhir, linguistics, cultures, psychology, role-playing, Tolkien, science fiction, movies, baking, cooking, theater, outdoors, etc. I'll basically check into pretty much anything.
Expertise: It's too early in my life for me to be a qualified expert in anything. However, I do have more than a passing knowledge of Tolkien's elves, a certain fixation for allergy-free cooking/baking(and cooking/baking in general), and perhaps know more than my fair share about how to absolutely kill in Boggle or Scrabble.
Occupation: Student
Message: message me
AIM:  Birdbrain97
Member Since:
10/4/2005
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| A SurveyIf you gotta free minute, or don't have one (like me), and do it anyway.
Seven names you go by:
1. Janeen
2. Nene
3. Neen
4. Neeners
5. Nina
6. Aranelamin
7. Tallstuff
Three things you are wearing right now:
1. baggy black sleep pants
2. yellow sleep shirt that says "Joe's Crab Shack"
3. black bath robe with snowmen on the hem
Two things you want very badly at the moment:
1. *sighs* A job--or Steve-O to have a job.
2. The ability to focus more on where God wants my attention.
Three people who will probably fill this out:
1. Uh.
2. Um.
3. Eh.
Two things you did last night:
1. Watched The Tiger and the Snow with Dad.
2. Talked with Steve-O.
Two things you ate today:
1. Some sunflower seeds.
2. A fresh cherry.
Two people you last talked to on the phone:
1. Steve-O.
2. Heather and Rachel K.
Three things you are going to do tomorrow:
1. See Steve-O!
2. Work on financial stuff with Mom.
3. Probably watch Heroes, and figure out a wedding present for Amy & Aaron.
Two longest car rides:
1. GA to PA.
2. PA to Maine.
Favorite beverages:
1. Water, just below room temperature, no ice.
2. Smoothies!
3. Iced herbal tea. | | |
| ...and all through the house, there was slightly less messiness, because a Janeen hath been packing muchly. But not TOO muchly, because this is a Sunday, and so it is a Day of Rest. Thank God. Rest is good. So, yeah, I've realized, through the poking and prodding of the Holy Spirit, that I need to practice more joy. In everything. Now, joy is all fine and good when I'm on a walk, drinking in God's glorious nature, feeling the cool, gentle touch of the breeze, and conversing with my Mom. And it's even semi-easy to be joyful when I'm packing, because it's all a matter of finding the right box, sorting things out, and packing/putting away boxes for when Steve-O and I get our apartment. Apartment. Our apartment. As in his and mine. *rolls eyes, sighs, and suppresses a frantic 'yiiiieeeeeee!" * So yeah, wedding stuff and job stuff and place-of-residence stuff. It all seems overwhelming. Lots of phone calls to make tomorrow. Lots of networking to be done. Lots of planning still to do. I interrupted writing thank you notes to type this out, and then I still need to settle up the gift registry, and make a "to-do" list for tomorrow, and have a stab at a decent cover letter and clean up my resume, because it has just a few more teensy errors and the wording could be better. And I kinda want to do a little bit of ab exercises, if only because I haven't done them in FOREVER--aka, since I moved back to Aaronsburg. So much for extra time once college is over! See, though, it isn't right to just be viewing this whole thinginess as a chunk of the space-time continuum to be divvied up and sorted out into little "must-get-done" boxes. Every day, every moment of my life is meant to honor and glorify and enjoy the presence of the Almighty God in my life--in ALL aspects of my life. Colossians 3 has some stuff to back this up: "15Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. 16Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God. 17And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him." And this is true, and right, and holy. It just seems like lately it's all about the "doing", whether it's prayer, or job searches, or making lists, etc. And that's great, but it's not everything, especially if I don't have that peace of Christ while I am doing these things. *sighs heavily* Honestly, it's been a struggle sometimes. I can't do it--all this stuff--good enough, and it can weigh on me. Praise the Lord that He provides all forms of encouragement in His word: “Oh, the depth of the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable his judgments, and his paths beyond tracing out!”- Romans 11:33 When I really think about it, this is super-comforting. When I am at my weakest, God is still the strongest, most powerful, most just, most merciful, most gracious, most loving Being in all of the universe--and beyond! To think that He longs for us to cast all of our cares and burdens on Him! How cool is that? So, the work continues on, but, in Christ's strength, it will be joyful work, because God is in control, and His plans are always the best, even when I can't see them--which I can't, because He's amazingly unsearchable! Amen! Laters. | | |
| Easter Break is over. Three more weeks of classes. One finals week. Hmmm... *sighs* I know I am where I am supposed to be...I just feel pensive about it. I'm ready to be done with college, that much is certain, but at the same time, it's this BIG finish...and it's just me. Here. To get it all done. Not in my strength, but only through the grace and joy and power and strength of Almighty God, Maker of Heaven and Earth. I'm sure motivation will kick in sooner or later. Right now, it's just...*sighs* My Dad is now 49 years old today. I had a great, productive break (huzzah for invitations being sorted out). I actually got a fair amount of homework done. I was able to hang out with my brother. I saw relatives, some for the first time since--since--well, it hda been a while. My great-grandmother is getting more frail each day; she's ready to join my great-grandfather and great-aunt. She is truly blessed to have lived a long life, and now to be slowly fading (shingles *winces* ) while living in her own home, being cared for by her daughter, and with grandkids and great-grandkids across the way. Things just seem to continue happening, and I'm not sure what to do about that. Or if I should even do something about it at all. Psalm 90 rocks. "Teach us to number our days aright,
that we may gain a heart of wisdom." -Psalm 90:12 Let us have a moment of moody, God-focused silence for the passage of time... | | |
| I'm not naturally a nice person. Pettinesses, jealousies, anger, and peevishness so frequently bubble up inside me at the slightest thing that disturbs my view of the way the world should be. Most of these are quickly pushed to the back of my mind and squashed beneath years of learning what the "right" way to behave is, but they still lurk within, the insidious echoes of everything that makes me a fallen human being. It happens so suddenly: one moment, everything is going well, and I can stay in this place of peace--and all it takes is one mispoken word, one misunderstood phrase, one unstable tendril of chaotic life that jars me out of my comfortable rigidity and forces me to cope. Often, my first temptation is to cope badly: to snap, to yell, to run away, to mock or scoff, or ignore in a way that betrays contempt and loathing for the person or thing that interrupted my set patterns. There are times, many wonderful times, that things work out, that I listen to the Holy Spirit's gentle guidance, and submit to the Savior's sweet, guiding love. I am able to dwell in the harmony that comes from walking in accordance with His will, and I savor the joy of seeing His work in others' lives through me. And then I praise the name of Jesus, who's sacrifice enables me to walk in His ways. There are times, far too many times, that I fail to listen, fail to speak or refrain from speaking, fail to act or refrain from acting. I fall. Sometimes, hurtful things are said; sometimes, it is a simple failure to listen. Always, the ultimate sin is a failure to listen to, love, and submit to God as I should. And then, on my knees, I praise the name of Jesus, who's sacrifice frees me from condemnation, as He bore all of the pain and shame and separation I deserve every day of my life. Sometimes I think one of the most heart-breaking moments is when I really mess up, come to God completely humiliated and forsaken--and not only does He love me and raise me up and forgive me, but He puts new, marvelous plans into action that I could never have dreamed of. Great is thy faithfulness
Oh God my Father
There is no shadow of turning with thee
Thou changest not
Thy compassions they fail not
As Thou hast been
Thou forever will be
Summer and Winter
Springtime and harvest
Sun, moon and stars in their courses above
Join in all nature in manifold witness
To Thy great faithfulness
Mercy and love
Pardon for sin and a peace that endureth
Thy own dear presence to cheer and to guide
Your strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow
Blessings all mine with ten thousand aside
Great is Thy faithfulness
Great is Thy faithfulness
Morning by morning
New mercies I see
All I have needed Thy hand hath provided
Great is Thy faithfulness
Lord unto me I love that phrase "no shadow of turning." There are so many shadows, within and without. Isn't it the coolest thing that there is absolutely, positively, no shadow of turning or unfaithfulness in God? Wo0T! "Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning." James 1:17
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| Grades: By the grace of God, I am in no danger of losing my academic honors scholarship or of dropping out of the Geneva College honors program. And only one more finals week to go! Seriously, finals was CRAZY. I came down sick with a sinus infection on Reading Day, so it was massive headache time and yet also lots of helping the fiancé to study for his PoliSci final (and in turn, studying for my own). Pre-Christmas: getting over sinus junque, making chocolate with Steve-O, working on wedding plans, purchasing and wrapping Christmas presents, helping to decorate at both families’ houses, hanging with my bro as much as possible, and enjoying a delicious break. Oh yes, and the occasional worries over senior honors thesis and continuing work on the premarital counseling questions Pastor Micah gave me. Also, after being quashed in my last foray into Civilization 4, I have again emerged onto the stage of computerized world conquest, this time with my brother Daniel has head guru advisor. So far, so good! ---Okay, so I also stepped down the difficulty level. I had to give meself a chance!  I guess it didn’t help that last time I was going for a diplomatic or cultural victory, and all of my neighbors ended up being expansionist warlords! Let’s see, let’s see…oh yes, Christmas Day! I had a lovely time journaling in the morning, then there was yummy waffles with strawberries and whipped cream (as well as eggs and bacon for those who wanted), and then unwrapping of the presents! Earlier my parents had bought me a lovely winter coat from Macy’s (60% discount too), so mostly the pressies were small: -the DVD documentary Winged Migration -two awesome pairs of long stripy socks -a few downloaded CDs (paid for) -a fluffy grey scarf -a hardback copy of Mansfield Park From my brother I received a high-quality electric hand mixer (with attachments and carrying case) and a mini-muffin tin, because mini-muffins are just CUTE and I can also make tartlets now.  From Steve-O I received a nice picture frame with four different photo slots and customized photos printed out from a Kodak picture-maker (there’s the engagement ring as well). From Steve-O’s family, I received a lovely stone plaque with the “love” section from 1 Corinthians 13 engraved on it, a new purse (from his fashionista sista), and a gift card to a favorite coffee and tea shop on campus. I feel very blessed. Lunch was random munching, and there was lounging around and such. Supper was a seafood feast, courtesy of saving and also Daniel’s generous donations: -bacon-wrapped scallops -oyster stew -garlic steamed clams -parsley butter potatoes -a lobster per person -homemade cheesecake Mmmm. There’s also been a fair amount of family drama, especially inter-parental, and sometimes full-on Montlick-style, with lots of stupid things said/yelled and often some tears and then stupid prideful refusals to reconcile even though we’re Christians, fercryinoutloud, and then every eats something and sleeps and the Holy Spirit does His amazing work of conviction, and somehow everything resolves, because God is good. In the midst of everything, God is good. Still, Steve-O suggested he and I make a concerted effort to unlearn any bad communication examples set by the parents. Wise person. Holding in tears and holding onto grudges makes me sick to my stomach and distant from God. 4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8Love never fails. -1 Corinthians 13 | | |
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